Saying Goodbye and Reconnecting

My uncle Willis died on July 28th. He was my mom's youngest brother. I really wanted to attend his memorial in Arizona. I am happy that the timing worked out for me to go. I had two trips already scheduled when he died - the one to California and one to visit my parents in late September. My fear was that the memorial would fall during one of those trips. 

I left on Friday September 13th. I arrived in the evening. The sun goes down earlier in AZ compared to WA. I had to walk a long way to get the rental car. Once in Tempe, I had trouble seeing the house numbers in the dark and I went to the wrong house at first. Eventually I found Shauna's house. I met Bonnie, Kevin's wife, for the first time. That evening I chatted with Bonnie, Kevin, Matt, and Shauna. It had been 39 years since I had been in Arizona!

On Saturday, my uncle's ashes were scattered near railroad tracks in Skull Valley.  Willis loved trains. His oldest grandson Nick lives in Skull Valley. I rode along with Matt and Shauna in their car.  It is a 2 hour drive north west from Tempe to Skull Valley. I took a few photos from the car.

We stopped in Prescott which is a town with lots of history. Shauna was excited to see a street festival happening but it was just a health fair. There was a car show that we looked at. We went into an antique store. We saw a booth called Vintage Cousins. We thought that applied to Shauna and I. We eventually arrived in Skull Valley. Beth was there. I got a selfie with her.

Doug and Joey were there. They came by car from Alberta. I met Trevor's three daughters and sons in laws and kids. Price relatives as well. A good friend of Trevor also came. 

We went to the train tracks in multiple cars. It was very hot. It wasn't far from Nick's house/ranch.

There was a service there. Trevor sang I Heard That Lonesome Whistle by Hank Williams

I was ridin' number nine

Headin' south from Caroline

I heard that lonesome whistle blow

Got in trouble, had to roam

Left my gal and left my home

I heard that lonesome whistle blow

Just a kid actin' smart

I went and broke my darlin's heart

I guess I was too young to know

They took me off the Georgia Main

Locked me to a ball and chain

I heard that lonesome whistle blow

All alone I bear the shame

I'm a number, not a name

I heard that lonesome whistle blow

All I do is sit and cry

When the evenin' train goes by

I heard that lonesome whistle blow

I'll be locked here in this cell

'Til my body's just a shell

And my hair turns whiter than snow

I'll never see that gal of mine

Lord, I'm in Georgia doin' time

I heard that lonesome whistle blow

as well as Amazing Grace. 

Kevin was master of ceremonies. Willis' great grand son read Psalm 23. He is 6 years old. The dash poem was read by Dylan, Kevins 19 year old son.

It was a favourite of Willis'.

The Dash Poem by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on the tombstone
from the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of birth
and spoke the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that they spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved them
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read,
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR dash?

The little kids had bubbles to blow. They understood what was going on. Their parents did a great job explaining it to them.

Shauna spoke. Trevor spoke.

McKayla is next to Shauna. She is Nick's wife

We were given a vial of ashes (if we wanted) and could scatter ashes by the tracks. 

Once multiple people did that (including me), Kevin dumped out the remaining ashes. 

The family posed with the ashes box.

Some flowers near the track.

We returned to Nick's house. We had enchiladas for an early dinner. It was fun to watch the little kids. Andrew Gorman's girl friend was there. We took lots of group photos. Note that Shauna and I have almost matching outfits. That wasn't planned!

Beth with her grandchildren

Beth with the entire family

Beth with her great grand children

Here's a blooper photo.

A candid shot of Nick with Beth.

The millennial generation played some pick up football. I looked at the animals which included a pig. They have horses too but I didn't go there.

Kevin and his family went back to the tracks in hopes of seeing a train go by but that didn't happen. We left at dusk. The drive back was interesting. We stopped at a look out but it was already dark. Kevin was there earlier and got this sunset photo. 

I went into the pool that night at Shauna's. 

Before leaving home I looked online for a PCA church near by. When I told Shauna the name of the church I had chosen to go to, she said my best friend Jill goes there! I went to the 9 am service at New Valley church. I was happy to have someone to sit with. Jill's husband was out of town so she was happy to have someone to sit with. The service was very similar to the one at my church. I felt at home. The church is bigger than ours.

I went back to Shauna's. The family started to gather. Kid were in the pool. I asked Matt for a recommendation for a scenic drive. I went to Lake Saguaro. It was perfect. I took 45 minutes to get there. I stopped a few times along the scenic road. 

When I got to the lake, I just took a few photos and turned around and came back.

It was very hot so my time out of the car was limited. It was 98 degrees. 

I was back to Shauna's in time to change and then leave for the memorial.  Took cousins photo.

We drove to Brentwood, the mobile home community. Once in the clubhouse, Joey and I arranged some flowers. I helped set up the memorial table. 

4 pm was the 1st service for family and friends. Kevin was master of ceremonies. He gave the eulogy. The dash poem was read by a friend of Willis and Beth. Great grand son read some dad jokes. Grand daughter McKenzie gave a tribute. Trevor lead us in 3 songs.

Amazing Grace, The Old Rugged Cross, and I'm so glad I'm a part of the family of God. Shauna closed the service with a tribute and then she prayed for the food. It was hot dogs since Willis liked them.  There was also cake and lemonade.

Before and after the services, Beth sat on a higher chair so it was easier for people to come and chat with her. I took video at the memorial services. I didn't take that many photos. The air conditioning wasn't as high as it should be.

5:30 pm was the 2nd service for the residents of Brentwood. The great grandson was super confident with his second round of joke telling. McKenzie didn't cry the second time around. 

I chatted a bit with Dylan - Kevin and Bonnie's son. He is 19 and was recently in Great Britain on a railroad tour. 

The slideshow was shown on a screen. It ran continuously with no music or captions. 

When the last service was over and we tidied up a bit we took flowers and other things to Beth's place. We gathered in her living room. I thought Kevin or Trevor would pray as we dispersed but Beth prayed! That's when I almost cried. She said (among other things) "say hello to Willis, I miss him!"

Went back to Shauna's. Matt picked up pizza for us. We chatted about the challenges of raising adult children. Colin, Kevin, Matt, Shauna and I. 

I could've gone into the pool again but I texted with Jonathan to tell him about my day. 

When I got up on Monday morning, I spent time with Shauna and Colin. Kevin and Bonnie had already left for home.

I drove myself to the airport with plenty of time to go through security and catch the plane. 

I appreciate my Creighton relatives.

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Trip to California

 The whole family was reunited in late August. Jonathan and Christopher left Seattle by train on August 28th. 

I flew down to Santa Ana the next day. I had a window seat and it was a sunny day. I had great views including this one of Mt. Rainier.

We stayed in an AirBnB (rented property) in the city of Whittier. I had planned to do some cooking for Alexander but we discovered that the house didn't have a kitchen. It is a duplex with the owners living in the other section. The photos on the website were a bit deceptive. They showed a dining room set, a fridge, a counter, but didn't  say they wasn't a sink or any way to cook. Other than that surprise, it was a good place to stay. Two bedrooms, a good bathroom, and a large living room. Located in a quiet neighbourhood. Little did we know that Alexander would spend time sleeping on the couch.  He got sick with a cold the day before I left for California. He called me, very upset about the situation. He stayed with us so he wouldn't get his roommate sick. He had originally planned to go sky diving to celebrate turning 21 but his sickness cancelled that. 

I picked up J and C from the train station in downtown LA driving A's Jeep. The rental car was a Mustang so that wasn't big enough to hold C's bags.

I got to see the house where A is living.

On Friday, the three of us (Me, J and C) went to the Richard Nixon Museum and Library in Yorba Linda which is a 30 minutes drive from Biola. We loved it. 

We spent about 2 hours there and we sped through some sections. There is plenty inside to see as well as a beautiful garden outside. I assumed there would be a café on the grounds but there wasn't. We had a very late lunch at BJ's restaurant in Brea. 

On Friday J and I had supper on the Biola campus. It was a welcome BBQ for freshmen and their parents but we crashed it. We sat with our church friends the Walshes who were there to move in their daughter.

That evening was a welcome event on campus. We walked over the big lawn where it was held. On a whim, I decided to look up A's boss to say hi. We introduced ourselves and took a photo with him. A was supposed to work that night but he was too sick.

I looked up his title and it is Assistant Director of Video Production and Digital Media Strategy.

On Saturday we helped C move into his dorm. He's in a new building - Horton. Here is his amazing view:

We met his new roommate and his mom. 

This was a first for me. I've never met the mom of any of my boy's roommates. She is super nice. She lives in Hawaii where her husband teaches drama at the university of Hawaii. We crowded into the Jeep and had lunch at Habit which is a nearby burger place. 

On Saturday afternoon, J and I drove to the Getty Museum. It was fantastic and has free admission. 

We had dinner there. I actually got emotional that night because I had hoped that all 4 of us would go to the Getty and get some family photos taken. It was so beautiful at sunset and I was sad about the missed opportunity due to Alexander's sickness.

I'll write a separate post about the Nixon Museum and the Getty Museum. I took a LOT of photos.

On Sunday, J and I went to C's church which is called Disciple Church. They were so welcoming. They have a potluck lunch every Sunday. This is a mural inside the church that a member painted:

We chatted with an elder and his wife. They had such nice things to say about C. On Sunday evening, we convinced A to come to a special dinner out to celebrate his birthday. 

We went to Summit House which is situated on top of a hill in Fullerton (the same city where A's church is located). A and I had seafood while J and C had red meat. We would've stayed for dessert but the sun was going down and I really wanted a photo of the 4 of us. A staff person took it for us. That's the photo at the beginning of this post.

On Monday, J and I were woken up early by a call from Amtrak saying that J's train was not running. There were some track problems north of Sacramento. He hoped to book the next day. He booked a night at the Holiday Inn near Biola. A agreed to drive him to the train on Tuesday morning since the rental car was being returned that day and I was leaving. J did get a reservation for the next day but was unable to get a sleeping berth.

Christopher and I did some shopping at the Brea Mall and WalMart. I said goodbye to my family.

This photo with A was taken on the roof of a building at Biola. 

He find the most interesting spots to work on campus. He had been working inside since it was a hot day. We just went outside fore better light. Here is me with the Mustang. I remembered at the last minute to take a photo. Jonathan really enjoyed driving it!

I'm already looking forward to Thanksgiving when I'll get C back. Maybe A will come if I talk him into it. 

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